Every child is different, every mother parents differently. That’s what makes this world interesting, because we’re not all the same. Breastfeeding has proven itself an intensely polarising issue. We’ve witnessed the Breast is Best rhetoric versus Fed is Best in the battle between breast-milk and formula. The #normalisation of breastfeeding has garnered itself a hashtag as women fight for the right to de-sexualise and de-stigmatise feeding their children in public. Most recently, celebrities like Pink and Kourtney Kardashian have brought breast pumps to the table, as they and other famous mothers highlight the reality of balancing motherhood with work. But that's just it, isn't it? Breastmilk, formula, SAHM, working mum, pumping, not pumping, famous, not famous... we're all mothers.

We are a motherhood, a sisterhood, a community who can lean on and learn from one another. Every woman who chose to share her story in this feature is an inspiration to me. Tandem-feeding, pains, infections, tongue tie, C-section, conflicting advice, breast pumps; just some of the hurdles my fellow mothers have navigated in their breastfeeding journeys.

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Mum tandem feeding — Fran

My breastfeeding journey began 5 years ago with the birth of my firstborn Loïc by C-section. Under the illusion breastfeeding would be easy, at two days post-partum I was diagnosed with Breast Hypoplasia. The resulting low (or potentially non-existent) milk supply did not bode well and Loïc lost 10% of his birth weight. I felt heartbroken at the thought I’d never be able to breastfeed but I was told to persevere with nursing, supplementing with formula. At this stage, I felt like my journey was over before it even began. For two weeks I persevered using a combination of nipple shields, formula and pumping but I fell into a downward spiral. An inexperienced first time Mum, I lacked the confidence to reach out to anyone for guidance or support. Loïc was 3 weeks old when I stopped breastfeeding.
The difficulty I experienced with Loïc actually gave me the determination to breastfeed my second son, Maël, born September 2015. At the start it was to prove to myself I could nourish my child; however I quickly learnt how important it was to persevere for Maël’s sake. This time I did reach out for support and I had home visits from a CHN every second day to weigh him. Maël was at the breast constantly, he cried 24/7, he hardly slept and likely all because I had low milk supply. A course of motilium proved ineffective but by this point I had joined a supportive breastfeeding group on Facebook who helped me push on. The CHN visits stopped and I made the decision to stop topping up with formula and start taking breastfeeding supplements. Maël was still not putting weight on with formula so I knew there was more at play. At 8 weeks old, following a bout of nipple thrush, Maël was diagnosed and treated for tongue tie. A huge turning point, his latch dramatically improved and feeds became less frequent and more efficient. However, the crying continued. He was gaining weight so hunger wasn’t the issue and though the GP kept pushing for me to use formula I continued to trust my instincts. Starting solids at 6 months led to turning point number two and two months later Maël was diagnosed with a number of allergies. I cut the allergens out of both of our diets immediately and by the second night Maël slept through the night for the very first time.
Ahead of Maël’s allergy diagnosis, I fell pregnant with my daughter, Eléa. Due to the complexity of moving to formula and his age we continued breastfeeding for the duration of my pregnancy. Eléa’s birth signalled the start of our tandem feeding journey. Maël was 17 months old and thanks to his continued nursing, this journey was by far the easiest. Eléa attached beautifully, my supply was great and we all found our new rhythm quickly. Maël was 27 months when he weaned (a decision I made to benefit us both), Eléa is now 17 months old and our breastfeeding journey continues.

Mum breastfeeding baby — Tanya

I love breastfeeding simply because it makes life easy in most ways. I feed to sleep. I feed when he is hurt. I feed when he grizzles. Even now, I feed just so I can write this story!
Mornings are my favourite time. We wake and feed for 30 minutes or so, easing into wakefulness. It's so special, this bond. The only thing causing a hiccup is the inability to leave him with anyone else. Although, I am not working, and we don't have people to leave him with anyway. So it is all okay.

Baby at the breast — rosanna

I have been breastfeeding my daughter for 10.5 months now. I originally hoped to breastfeed for six months so I’m really proud that we made it this far. My breastfeeding journey was definitely not easy. There were many times when I wanted to give up. As a first time mum, I never knew how much it would impact on me; what I could wear, how I could sleep (I was dying for tummy sleeping post pregnancy), engorgement, nipple pain, mastitis, the fear of if my daughter was getting enough to eat, feeding positions and the strain on your body and most of all how much it meant to me to be able to do it despite all of this.
We had some trouble in the beginning with sore and cracked nipples and then later with latch. My daughter breastfed and had expressed milk and a tiny bit of formula in hospital while I was getting the hang of things. At home, I continued to have some issues with pain and latching particularly because my breasts were very engorged and it was difficult for Evelina to attach when they were rock hard. I always felt my supply was on overdrive and it took a very, very long time for this to settle down despite everyone telling me my breasts would adjust. I’m certain I had an issue with oversupply and dealing with that was very hard. After a week at home, I ended up pumping and giving her expressed milk around the clock for a couple of weeks but really wanted to persevere with breastfeeding. Expressing and bottle feeding was utterly exhausting.
I had a visit from a private lactation consultant at home when Evelina was four weeks old. The wait time at my local health clinic was weeks so I paid the money to get someone to come to me. We were feeding in the ‘football’ position as this is how we learnt to feed in the hospital. From there, we just kept trying and trying and we were finally able to establish exclusive breastfeeding. The flip side to this was that Evelina refused the bottle not long after this and hasn’t taken one since. She relies so heavily on the comfort and closeness of breastfeeding that I’m scared about how we will ever stop. It's the one thing that can calm her down no matter what.
Things were going along nicely for several months. We changed to mainly side lying feeds in bed which eased a lot of my muscle aches and also helped a lot because Evelina was too long for football hold pretty quickly. Then at four months post-partum I had my first bout of mastitis out of the blue. From then, I had it 4 times in about 6 weeks. I lost all my confidence and started thinking about transitioning her to a bottle and stopping breastfeeding because mastitis was awful. We tried again to get her to take a bottle with freshly expressed milk, frozen milk defrosted, warm, cold, formula, different bottles and teats, cups. She hated them all and refused them and this went on for weeks while I was living in fear about getting mastitis again. Luckily enough I was somehow able to get through this time and not get mastitis again, but it was so stressful.
We are down to 3 feeds a day at the moment and things are a hell of a lot easier. I still have days where I feel stuck and trapped sometimes because I can’t leave her for long periods. I saw myself in the mirror just the other day and for the first time I noticed the stretch marks and new sag that my breasts now have. However, I wouldn’t change my journey because I’m so proud of how far I've come and I’m so grateful that I have been able to breastfeed. It is such a beautiful and amazing thing that our bodies can do. All I can say now is, wish me luck when it comes time to wean, because I have an absolute boobie monster on my hands!

Premature baby at breast — Amanda

My breastfeeding journey was unlike anything I could have expected. I was not naïve, thinking it would be easy and natural from the beginning; I knew it would take time, patience, and learning for both myself and AJ. When AJ was born two months premature and taken immediately to the NICU, the picturesque “Golden Hour” and time spent doing skin to skin to create that bond with my newly born daughter was taken away. She was fed through a g-tube for the first three weeks of her life and only put to breast to practice. These practice sessions were terrible. She would become immediately frustrated and overwhelmed, which made me so sad and overwhelmed for her. We would both be in tears. It almost seemed traumatic to her. I told the nurses while she was still in the NICU that I was no longer interested in breastfeeding if that was the response my daughter was going to have. She was forced into this world two months before she was ready. She had to live in a poorly lit hospital room and was unable to come home with her mom. She was poked and prodded with needles and feeding tubes and PIC lines… I was in control of this one stressor in her life and I wanted to take that away for her. I pumped around the clock and provided her with breast milk, but she preferred the bottle and I was okay with that.
When she was three weeks old, I was finally allowed to take my sweet 4lb tiny nugget home. It was just me and her. I decided to put her to the breast just to see how she would respond. Same as in the hospital, immediate screams and cries like she was being tortured, so I stopped. In the weeks that followed, we did as much skin to skin as possible. I talked to her, sang to her, read to her, snuggled her, and just tried to make her feel as safe and comfortable outside of the womb as she should have still been inside. About once or twice a week, I’d put her to the breast. Same reaction each time, though the cries were becoming less and less intense. Then, on the night of September 3rd, I put her to the breast. She latched! She latched perfectly! She remained latched for TWO HOURS!! I couldn’t believe it!! We had finally persevered. Two months after she was born and on her exact due date, my still tiny little nugget had finally decided that she would accept breastfeeding. I was so overcome with emotion that entire evening.
AJ is now 13 months old and I’m still breastfeeding! She’s starting to wean herself so it’s not nearly as often as it used to be, but we’re still at it. It’s our time. My special time with my special girl that is just for me and her. The struggles and frustration that we both experienced for the first two months only makes me appreciate how hard we worked to be successful even more. I’m so proud of my girl and, honestly, I’m proud of me.
The picture I've attached is one of my most cherished photos. It's of the night my girl decided that breastfeeding was going to be her jam!

Mum and baby girl — Briawna

During my pregnancy I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I somehow knew about all the benefits, but I was never really exposed to or talked to about it. It's like I was oblivious to how many people truly did choose to breastfeed. I'm not kidding, I really thought everyone bottle-fed and I don't really know why other than the fact I hadn't known anyone to have breastfed before. It was something I was most excited about when it came time to give birth. I looked forward to that first latch and the journey that would follow.
It went excitedly how I had hoped-successfully! I won't sugar coat it, I knew it'd be painful, especially at first, and it was. I had my husband run to the store late at night to get me nipple cream, and chocolates. Seriously, chocolates were the only thing getting me through the sleepless nights and painful feedings. I completely dreaded when she needed to eat next. I squealed in pain at the initial latch until the pain eased after about 10 seconds. I knew it would get better over time, I knew I wanted to breastfeed, so calling it quits and making a bottle was not an option.
My daughter was always smaller, usually the 6 percentile. My paediatrician was amazing for never pushing for formula for us; she truly felt she was so alert and hitting milestones just fine that she wasn't concerned. This was huge for us and our breastfeeding journey. Had we have had a different doctor, this could be a completely different story.
I'm also a self-employed momma, I jumped right back into work at 6 weeks like most, and was gone for 6-10 hours some days and was unable to pump during my workday (due to the kind of job I have: newborn and wedding photography). The first few weeks, I was engorged and in pain, leaking all over the place. After those first few weeks my body got the hint and regulated itself; still able to make plenty for her but without the pain and leakage. I rarely pumped, just enough to have a small stockpile of frozen milk for our girl. Luckily, when I would pump (typically in the morning while she fed on one side, since she slept through the night, and right when I'd get home from work) I would get 5-10oz. Once she started baby-led weaning with solid foods, it helped fill any gaps and let me take on destination weddings that I needed to be gone one or more nights for.
Fast forward to now, nearly 12 months of successful breastfeeding! She's never had an ounce of formula. I mention that not to put down those that have to use it or choose to but to give those that need that ounce of encouragement to keep going. It's painful, it's some serious dedication, and I know all too well how hard it can be to never fully "know" how much the little is taking in, but it's so worth it. The bond, the health benefits, even the financial benefits I experienced from doing EBF, I would (and hope to soon!) do it all over again.

black and white breastfeeding — Andrea

Admittedly, I began my breastfeeding journey with much more knowledge than most. My mom had been a Le Leche League leader for 17 years, and had breastfed me and all 7 of my siblings. She co-breastfed and breastfed a set of twins. I grew up watching her and hearing her stories and seeing the different difficulties she overcame. We also knew many large, hippy-like families growing up who did everything from home births to breastfeeding their toddlers to milking their own goats to making their own bread. From wheat they ground themselves. (Oh wait, my family did all that too!)
For me breastfeeding was just par the course. Your body conceived, grew, and nurtured a baby for 40 weeks in the womb. Your body then knew how to “expel” that baby (excuse me for the crude description, but itʼs how I tend to think of it), and always does one way or another. It only makes sense that your body would then feed that baby and nurture him or her on the outside. I never assumed it would be easy, and I expected to overcome hurdles, but I knew it would be part of my mommyhood.
Fast forward to my pregnancy with my daughter - I read all the books, went to breastfeeding classes, made connections with my local La Leche League group, gathered contacts for an IBCLC and other lactation support, etc. I had a beautiful labour and delivery at home, and 30 minutes after she was born she was latching for the first time. I remember thinking how odd it was that just a few minutes before this little person was still inside me, and now here she was attached to my breast. It was a moment I had dreamt for, hoped for, planned for and here it was! Just like that! I remember also thinking my breasts looked huge in comparison to her head; the first time I had used the words “huge” and “my breasts” in the same sentence! I had a co-sleeper set up next to our king side bed with every intention to have her sleep there from day one. I put her in it at one point and promptly picked her back up and moved her back next to me. It felt so wrong to have her so far away from me. I needed her close and she needed it too. She stayed latched for 9 hours straight that night. We were skin to skin - she was only in a diaper (and I was too – funny how that works) and we had a muslin blanket draped over us a It was magical. I didnʼt mind her staying latched for so long. She was happy and getting the colostrum she needed to fill her tiny tummy and move any bilirubin out of her system. I also knew it would help stimulate my milk to come in and boy did it ever.
About 36 hours after she was born I suddenly had elephants on my chest. I had to send my mom and sister out to buy me more bras because the ones I had bought weren’t even close to big enough. And this is where the magic ended. On top of being sore from engorgement, my nipples began to feel like sharp pieces of glass were cutting them every time she latched. It was worse than the engorgement pain. My mom tried to help me make sure her latch was correct. A lactation consultant who had also come to do my belly binding also helped me with her latch. I watched videos of getting the proper latch. Like I said, I knew breastfeeding wasnʼt going to be perfectly easy - but how can something so natural be so hard? Her upper lip would tuck under so I would take a finger and flare it out to help her latch deeper. She would get annoyed because any time her latch wasnʼt deep enough I would unlatch her and make her try again. We worked on her latch for days and it slowly got better. My nipple pain went away. But something more worrisome was happening. My sweet tiny baby was choking at every feed!! And Iʼm not talking about the little gag that often happens to newborns with a let-down. Iʼm talking full coughing, choking, i needed to sit her up right and help her clear her airway choking. It was scary! I discussed the issue with my mom and lactation consultant and we all agreed it sounded like I had an overactive let down and probably an over-supply. I began feeding her in different positions trying to find a way she could eat without drowning. I also began “block feeding” where I would only feed one breast for 2-3 feedings in a row before offering the other breast. This was supposed to help reduce my supply. We tried it all. I would hand express milk through my let down and then latch her. I tried pumping and then latching. I tried pulling her
off when the let-down happened and catching it in a burp rag or Haakaa (which by the way, ALL
breastfeeding moms NEED one of these!!!), then relatching. But it didnʼt seem to matter what I did, she would choke. Sometimes multiple times in a feed.
As the weeks went on, nursing became a stressful event for both of us. She became very fussy at the breast - she was hungry but was dreading choking. I became frustrated because she was frustrated. I didnʼt want to introduce bottles because I didnʼt want her to have nipple confusion- I kept hoping that once my supply regulated around 6 weeks, and as she got older and bigger, that things would get easier. However, when she was 8 weeks old, it wasnʼt getting easier. It was getting harder. Many feeding sessions ended with both of us in tears. Hers because the very thing that was supposed to be comforting to her was choking her, mine because I felt like my body was hurting my child.
Around this time, I was speaking to a friend about my breastfeeding woes. She immediately said, “Andrea, sheʼs tied.” The words hit me like a ton of bricks!! She couldnʼt have a tie. I had three trusted people tell me she had a “small lip tie” and no tongue tie. It was something that I had considered, had evaluated, and ruled out weeks before. I told my friend this, and she again said, “Andrea, with all those symptoms, I guarantee she has a posterior tongue tie. Do your own research and get it revised.” I quickly began to learn EVERYTHING I could about lip and tongue ties. As it turns out, 95% of babies with a lip tie will ALSO have some kind of tongue tie. There are many variations/severities of ties, and there are many “symptoms” of those ties. Many go undiagnosed because our current medical field is completely uneducated on ties. One of the most difficult to diagnose is a Stage IV posterior tongue tie, because itʼs not necessarily visible just by looking under the tongue. It does not cause any “forking” of the tongue, not does it restrict the movement of the tongue sticking out. It DOES restrict the tongueʼs ability to cup up and back into the throat, therefore restricting the ability to swallow properly. As I began learning this information, I was floored. My baby had a tongue tie. I knew it in my mamma-heart immediately. It suddenly made so much sense! I was both extremely frustrated that I hadnʼt known this information earlier and elated that our problems could potentially be solved, all at once. That day I called the provider that had been recommended to me - a dentist in our area that specialized in tongue and lip tie revisions. He was booked 4 weeks out so I made the soonest appointment available. We fought through those weeks hoping and praying that the revision would make things easier. The day of the appointment I was a ball of nerves. What if the procedure didnʼt work? What if she didnʼt have a tie? What if I was just making all this up and everything was really fine? What if there was something else we could do to “fix” it? Was I making the right decision? The hardest part was the doctor said he really couldnʼt diagnose her tongue tie. He said it looked “thick and tight” but that since posterior ties donʼt have “visible restrictions,” he couldnʼt guarantee the procedure would make a difference. To make matters more complicated, we were leaving the next day to make a 17 hour drive to Florida to visit my family for Christmas. Did we want to do a procedure like this right before traveling? My husband was an amazing support that day and he basically had to talk me off the “mommy guilt ledge.” He reminded me that things really couldnʼt get “worse” at this point and that we had to at least try it. Better then than another 4 weeks. So we said ok, letʼs do it.
For most babies, especially if the procedure is done when they are younger than 3 months, the laser revision is quick and painless. Iʼll spare you the traumatic details, but letʼs just say that wasnʼt the case for my daughter. She cried, a lot. And didnʼt stop crying for hours after the revision. The doctor said her lip tie was actually one of the thickest he had seen (and heʼs done thousands of these), but didnʼt realize how thick it was until he got in there with the laser It was a good thing we did the revision because it most likely would have caused speech impediments and tension issues later in her life. It took several hours before I could get her to latch again. The first time she did latch she kept breaking off to cry- I knew she was in pain. I broke my rule of not giving Tylenol before 6 mo because I was so sad for her. I wore her in a wrap all day - I just PRAYED that all this was worth it!
That night was rough. She cried throughout the night- a really sad cry that broke my heart. I posted in my mom support group asking for reassurance. Had I made the right decision? Did I put my baby through this for nothing? Many moms reassured me that even if it didnʼt help the breastfeeding it sounded like it needed to be done for her long-term health. The next morning was like nothing ever happened!! She was back to all smiles and your typical curious 3 month old. She began nursing normally again… AND SHE WASNT CHOKING!!!! It was amazing. I did have to work on her latch some that day- I could tell her mouth felt different to her and she was relearning how to latch and suck. But she was swallowing easily and clearly.
Having her ties revised completely changed our nursing relationship. She is now 11 mo old and breastfeeding is her favourite thing to do. I donʼt see us weaning any time in the near future. Our experience though lit a fire under me to help educate more moms about ties. I have since heard so many stories of moms who desperately wanted to breastfeed but their babies were labelled “failure to thrive” or nursing was excruciatingly painful and so they switched to formula or exclusively pumping because they thought it was their only option- only to later discover their child had ties. Although it was a frustrating experience for me with my first baby, Iʼm grateful for the knowledge and experience it gave me. If you are curious about learning more on tongue and lip ties, I highly recommend starting here: https://wwwadrghaheriacom/blog/2014/10/8/the-differencebetween-a-lip-tie-and-a-normalfrenulum

Breastfeeding baby — Gina

When I got pregnant my initial assumption was that I would formula feed. However, with time to think and research, I decided to be an exclusive pumper. I spoke to one friend who was an exclusive pumper due to latch issues and another friend who breastfed for two years, both advised against it saying it would be more work and I was better off just breastfeeding. My first goal was to make it one week. Then one month. I needed a nipple shield every single time but other than that everything went wonderfully. My milk came in right away and when using the Haakaa I would easily get 2-3oz every time. I pumped once to try it and was mortified at what my nipple looked like after. My period came back at 6 months postpartum and I started noticing a dip in my supply right away. I was so reluctant to give her formula but the other option was to literally starve my baby so we gave it a go. There’s such a huge stigma that goes along with formula, I literally had to talk myself off the ledge that I wasn’t giving her poison and that it’s specifically made for babies. By the end of April, I was supplementing more and more and for a week or two, I was only nursing her in the morning followed by formula the rest of the day. Mother’s Day was the last time she nursed and I cried and threw myself a huge pity party the next day. I felt like a failure rather than feeling accomplished for have crushing my initial goal. Breastfeeding is a huge commitment that no one really warned me about. I used to get so stressed before we’d go out, if we had lunch or dinner plans, if friends were coming over. I tried to always time everything perfectly so I wouldn’t have to nurse in public or the back of my car or in a bedroom at a family party. That being said, I’m still so so so happy I did it. I loved bonding and nourishing her. She has never been sick and was always such a content and happy infant, which I believe is due hugely to being breastfed. I wish our journey didn’t end when it did but I’m thankful for the months we had.

Mum pumping milk for baby — Jenn

So I'll share with you my favourite breastfeeding pic- still looking at it brings back so many emotions and tears and pretty much sums up the rocky start to our breastfeeding journey. Even when I look at this Goddess in the picture I can't believe it's really me. I remember feeling like I had to be strong and push through for Saoirse at the time this was taken. It was the day after my life-threatening haemorrhage and I had to pump and dump because of the medication I was on. Here I am feeding Saoirse donor milk because at 8 days postpartum I had zero freezer stash! She also fought taking bottles from anyone but me, but thankfully my husband had the thought to grab his phone and snap this picture of us together. I will treasure it forever. When I say it took a village to get us in the swing of nursing, I really mean it! From this generous milk donor who donated her entire stash, to two different lactation consultants helping with latch problems to my midwife prescribing two rounds of fluconazole for stubborn thrush. When Saoirse was born she was very small due to a placental insufficiency. She was borderline growth restricted and I remember feeling so angry at my body for failing my baby and me; first with my placenta failing, and then Saoirse getting stuck behind my pubic bone and needing interventions during the birth, and then with the haemorrhage a week later. I simply refused to allow breastfeeding to fail too and that is why I fought so so SO hard the first 10 weeks getting us both the help we needed in order to be successful. Even now at nearly 11 months she is starting to put up a fight staying to nurse because she would rather be on the floor playing :). I'm stubborn though and refuse to let anything stop us before we reach our one year goal.
Thank you for letting me share my story. I really hope it can help another mom and send the message that it is more than okay to ask for help when you need it!
Hugs xx

Mum and two children — Heather

I'm currently breastfeeding my second baby. It's a very different experience this time since I knew what I was doing right from the start and felt very comfortable to breastfeed him anytime, anywhere, covered, uncovered; the focus is feeding my baby and that's all I care about now! This came from 16 months of experience with my first. In addition to my comfort and confidence, my milk production is also different. Last time, I made enough for 2 babies and expected the same this time. I expected all of the issues that accompany an oversupply too (constant spit up, constant laundry and showers, etc. However, this time, I make just enough and it's glorious!! I was stocked up on burp cloths and never really needed them!
Even though I produce just enough, I'm really happy to be able to help my friend feed her NICU baby with some of my pumped milk. I've been able to add in 1-2 pumping sessions a day and can get about 3-5oz each day to help her supplement what she isn't producing. I never thought I'd donate milk but it's such an honour and privilege to be able to feed and nourish not just one, but two babies this time!! I think breastfeeding really is a super power :-)

Mother breastfeeding baby in bath — Hannah

Breastfeeding is hard. So hard that it has taken me 3 babies to finally get it right. My journey with Lou has been so different to the other two because of two things. When things weren’t going well I saw a fabulous lactation consultant ASAP and I found myself a breastfeeding friend to talk me through the tough days. A breast friend. I got myself informed and I got myself supported. Two things I was missing with my first two babies.
When I had Archie I was traumatised from the birth. I felt violated. I felt like I didn’t want to have the midwives touching me so when asked about how feeding was going I said it was good. When in reality I had no idea how to hold him. I had no idea what a proper latch looked like. I didn’t even feel comfortable feeding him in front of people in my own home. I hid in my room and I took bottles when we were out. He had pretty bad jaundice, spent a few days under the lights so formula top-ups started and by 3 months he was no longer breast fed at all.
When Violet came along I wanted things to go better. I let the midwives help me with my latch and show me a few different holds. I really tried but then she had jaundice like Arch and I was told to top up, I had a crappy breast pump and couldn’t express enough, formula was once again brought in to our lives before breast feeding was even established. I didn’t understand that cluster feeding was normal. When the evenings hit and she was on my breast for hours and hours I would be in tears because I assumed she was hungry. My Milk wasn’t enough. I couldn’t do this. I distanced myself from her and let Robert feed her almost every meal. I used work as an excuse not to care for her. I let him form the bond with her that I wanted. This is why I don’t love formula. Not because I am even remotely judging mothers who use it. Because for me it was always a crutch and at the first little stumble I started to rely on it more and more until I gave up breastfeeding all together. With Vee this happened at 8 weeks. I regretted it and tried to bring my milk back weeks later but was unsuccessful. It broke my heart. I remember laying in the bath with her every day for a week hoping skin to skin would help. It didn’t. She was so sick the first year of her life and the question of whether my breastmilk could have helped her even a little to fight some of it off haunted me.
When I was blessed with my little surprise third baby Lou I was bloody determined. I would get it right this time. I was not going to experience those same feelings of regret that I had after I stopped with Vee. She was my last baby and after the hellish pregnancy we had where I struggled to bond with her I just knew that I needed this. We got off to a good start. The relief I felt when they put her on my chest in recovery and she latched right on perfectly. The pride I felt as I fed her while they wheeled us through the hospital to our room. I am not ashamed to admit that I was proud. Proud of her, proud of me, we had this under control. It finally felt right to me. This natural people always spoke of, I felt like I got a glimpse.
Then it began. The midwives with wildly varying advice. Feed her as much as she wants, don’t feed her too much, don’t feed her in that position; it went on and on. She wasn’t putting on any weight. The doubt started to creep in. The confusion. Still we went home breastfeeding. I sat up in my chair at night feeding her until I feel asleep, tired but happy. I managed to overcome my fear of feeding in public. Within a week I was ok at the shops, now I wouldn’t even think twice before unlatching my milk-stained bra to feed Lou even if I was sitting down to tea with the queen herself. For me, this was huge. We had weight loss and allergies and intolerances thrown at us. We had injuries and hospital stays and let’s not even talk about mastitis. We lost the right breast (slacker) and now feed on one side but we are still going strong at 6 months + 2 weeks. I will never say it was easy, it was so hard. But only for those first few months. I promise it does get easier. Night feeds where I can rest on my pillow and close both eyes. Not having to lug all the bottles around when we go out. It’s also a bloody good reason to invest in some pretty new breastfeeding dresses ;) Now I better leave it at that because I just told my husband that I couldn’t feed Lou just yet because I was too busy writing about feeding her.

Mum breastfeeding baby at beach — Jeannie

After trying to conceive for over 6 years and enduring many rounds of fertility treatments, we were finally pregnant. I wanted a natural birth and to experience my newborn son “crawling to the breast” as they described in my book about breastfeeding. I would lie in the bathtub rubbing my swollen belly and daydream about the birth. Unfortunately, the birth experience went a little differently than in my dreams. I was induced at 41 weeks and 1 day. After 42 hours of labour with an epidural that did not work, and stalling at 9.5cm, I was told a C-section was needed. Instead of my son “crawling to the breast” he was placed on my breast by a nurse while I was delirious from the trauma of birth. I don’t remember the first breastfeeding experience other than the feeling of him on my right breast. In the hospital we had three different lactation consultants come into the room to “help”. Each of them had a different idea. One physically shoved my son onto my breast to the point I thought he wouldn’t be able to breathe. Everything I read made it seem like breastfeeding was the easiest, most natural thing a mother could do. What I didn’t know was that although it is natural, it is by no means easy. Since my birth plan went nothing according to plan, I was desperate to succeed at breastfeeding. I demanded to be released from the hospital on Thursday so that I could go see a former paediatrician who now runs a breastfeeding medicine clinic. She helped us with our latch and positioning. She also helped calm my nerves. I thought we were good to go.

Through the next few days/weeks I developed postpartum anxiety. I was miserable and scared. I felt alone and thought I may die if I went to sleep. I dreaded the evenings when everyone else would fall asleep and I would be up with my son. My nipples were so sore and cracked from the constant cluster feeding. I would pump and allow Dad to syringe feed while I rested. I refused to introduce a bottle for fear that it would ruin our breastfeeding relationship (bad idea! My son never took a bottle). I returned to see our breastfeeding doctor and she prescribed me a topical ointment and recommended using Mother’s Love for my nipples. This was a life saver! I also found nipple shells (not shields) which allowed my nipples to breathe between feedings and to keep clothing away.

After five weeks I thought we were good to go. Everything was smooth sailing with breastfeeding, I was on medication for my PPA, and my son was doing great. Then we hit the 2 month mark and he decided to go on a nursing strike. At his two month check-up he was doing great with weight. By four months he was in jeopardy of being labelled with Failure to Thrive. He had plummeted below the 10th percentile for weight. During his strike, my son would only nurse if he was asleep. This was fine except it caused him to reverse cycle meaning he would consume most of his calories at night which meant we didn’t sleep. We made it through this strike and he started nursing regularly around 4 months. However, the 4 month sleep regression hit and we still didn’t sleep. From 4 months until 7 months, my son woke every 45 mins overnight to nurse. The only thing that would get him back to sleep was his beloved “boobie snack”. I was determined to nurse through to one year so I just followed his lead. At 7 months, I was exhausted. Our paediatrician, lactation doctor, and sleep consultant all told us to sleep train. I worried that sleep training would mess up our breastfeeding journey but it was a blessing. We both got sleep and my supply seemed better than ever.

My son’s weight never did bounce back. He is a great eater but he is slim. He has maintained the 10th percentile since his 4 month check-up and I’m sure he will check in there at one year. We are 11 months in and doing great with the breastfeeding though he now knows how to ask for his “boobie snacks” and or get to them himself! We have always nursed on demand and I will continue to do so for the next few months. We’ve made it almost to a year and I’m so glad. What I wish I had known before having my son was that breastfeeding is a journey for both of you. It is not easy and there will be hurdles. It is also the most amazing connection and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Breastfeeding in milk bath — Charlene

Being a labour & delivery nurse, I help a lot of mama’s with learning to nurse their little ones. I always figured once it was my turn, I’d have no problems teaching my little nursling to breastfeed. Well, he was born, he latched immediately, and we were off to an amazing start! Two weeks later, we went to the paediatrician for his check up and he was still not up to birth weight yet. His paediatrician suggested we try triple feeding for a few days and see if we can boost his calories.
Triple feeding involves nursing, supplementing with expressed breastmilk or formula, and pumping to make more milk for the next feed. We did it for a few days and my little nursling was back to birth weight and thriving! So we stopped, per his paediatrician’s recommendation... and he stopped gaining weight! The sudden switch from receiving extra milk through the supplements to not receiving anything except breast, was too much for his little body to adjust to, so we continued triple feeding and seeing an IBCLC (international board certified lactation consultant).
We came to the conclusion that my son had a tongue tie that was preventing him from transferring all of my breastmilk out of my breast, therefore causing my supply to slowly dwindle. So we had his tongue tie clipped and I began taking Domperidone, which works to increase my prolactin levels, therefore increasing the amount of breastmilk I produce. I also began using a supplemental nursing system, which fed him the supplemental breastmilk and formula while I was also nursing! And don’t forget, I was still pumping after every feed! At 6 weeks, the IBCLC we were seeing suggested stopping the supplement again and seeing how he did. Again, the sudden absence of supplement caused him to stop gaining weight! She then suggested that I give up and either exclusively pump or switch to formula only.
I was completely distraught but determined to nurse this little man! I sought out the advice of another IBCLC, and she told me that I should absolutely follow my gut and the other IBCLC had given me terrible advice and was not supportive whatsoever! With her help, we developed a plan to continue triple feeding and once I was pumping enough to not need additional formula, I would begin to slowly wean from the supplements instead of drastically stopping them. With this new determination, my son and I continued on our breastfeeding journey! Around 4 months, I was finally pumping enough breastmilk to not need any more formula and we began to wean! We weaned very slowly, but by 6 months we were no longer using any supplements and my little man was continuing to gain weight steadily by nursing alone!
We struggled to get to a point where we were exclusively breastfeeding, but I was determined to not give up! And I’m so glad I didn’t! We now nurse whenever and wherever he wants and we have no end in sight! As long as he’s asking for it, I plan on giving it to him! I always say, “I fought too hard to just give this up on a timeline!” When my little man makes the decision that he no longer needs my breast for nourishment, for comfort, for warmth, then we’ll make the decision to wean. Together!

BreastfeedingHadassah HineSeptember 3, 2018breastfeeding, post-partum, baby, mum, mastitis, lactation, breastmilk, breast pump, exclusively breastfeeding, motherhoodComment