Slightly less scary than Psycho but perhaps with a little more blood…
We had picked Denny up from school, dropped her at her after-school activity and now me, Noah and the baby were home. I get us all undressed so we can get the shower out of the way. I’m naked, Raphy’s naked (and crying) and Noah’s naked but playing silly buggers about getting his naked butt in the bathroom.
I’m cajoling, encouraging, threatening now and end up dragging him by the arm into the bathroom. Right, still have screaming baby in my arms, open the shower door and ask Noah to step inside. He puts one foot into the shower and then in the flash of an eye he’s slipped and fallen back, splitting the back of his head on the ridge of the shower door. Fuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay. I kind of freeze for a minute and mentally assess the situation. Screaming, naked baby. Naked me. Naked, bleeding Noah. Fuck me. Okay it’s okay. I lay the baby on a towel in the hall outside the bathroom and go to lift Noah. He’s crying but he’s not unconscious. Having split my own head open at age 11 I use the same trick my babysitter did then and do my best to wash as much of the blood out of his hair as possible under the shower. For a fleeting moment I consider whether it would be acceptable to go ahead with showering myself as planned and then go to the hospital but I decide to just get redressed and go.
We pull up at the children’s emergency and are seen immediately and a short while later, leave with an ice block, some glue and a hair tie stitch.
A week later, we’re back because he’s managed to bump the same spot on his head against the wall and it’s bleeding again. This time we’re not seen immediately because it’s a Sunday night which is apparently a popular night for accidents and getting sick. My son spends the entire evening running around the emergency waiting room, rearranging the furniture, attempting to knock crisps out of the vending machine and generally acting like the opposite of someone with a head injury, making me look like I’m suffering from Munchausen’s by Proxy!
So that was my Sunday night, how was yours?
What crazy kid antics have sent you to the emergency room? Tell me at Hadassah@threelittlehines.com.